two hundred and forty one
Sunday, January 20, 2008 @ 11:52:00 PM
haircut and shopping today
its short slight assymetrical cut with new colour
hazelnut with copper highlights
shopped but din manage to get anything
enough about mundane and boring stuff
im getting annoyed with myself
i ought to be moving on
and i think i am but im not
im vacillating
not progressing
still clutching on tight to de past
embracing de possibility of hope
which i know for one is zilch
but i keep deluding myself
i try and say im not affected
i keep my spirits up by dismissing it
i smile at de thought that ive come so far
im proud of being able to make it through
im contented that i think ive emerged stronger
im satiated that everything seems to be improving
but i shudder at de thought that these are all delusions
all delusions i made up to comfort myself
de pain has not lessened
de hurt has not diminished
deres no anger no hatred
but there are doubts and questions
so much that i wanna say
but some things are better left unknown
some secrets better left undiscovered
some things left unsaid
and questions unanswered