Saturday, May 12, 2007 @ 11:11:00 PM
i'm back
life's not been perfect
in fact far from perfect
everything i do seems to be wrong
everything i do seems to de a mistake
i feel de distance
i feel de strain
i feel de gap between us
try as i may i cant bridge it
its tiring
to constantly bridge it but see it fall apart
nothing is de same i know
i dont expect to be de focus of her life
but i just wanna make sure im still a part of it
but there is just too many things in her life
they say when love fades away all is left is obligation and responsibility
i dont wanna reach that stage
im kinda at a loss
cos i dont know wad to do
to hold on or to let go
if no ones happy wads de point
but im reluctant to let go
cos she still does matter
and i know it
cos i still get angry when she pushes me off limits
cos i still cares about how she perceives me
cos i still get happy when she sends me a lovely albeit short msg
cos i still want her to be happy
i still feel for her
but is de feeling reprociated
that only she can answer
a part of me just does not want her to leave
deres that emotional struggle
my life has just been entwined with hers and to ask me to just cut it drastically
its difficult to do that
sometimes i just dont know wads in her mind
to know if leaving is de best option for both
cos if we know there aint gonna be a hapily ever after
struggling to hold on now will just hurt us both more when we decide to let go
theres so much restraint
i hope time will change things
improve de situation
change de scenario
i still wanna give it my best shot
i just wanna make this last cos i know i still love her
but is this just wishful thinking on my part
is it just one sided
i feel like im thrown into de abyss spiralling into nothingness
everything is just changing so fast i cant catch up
perhaps there is just so much going on in her life and nothing in mine
our pace of life cant match
i really hope things will change after i start school
maybe all dat negativity at work has led to me being paranoid
and i really got to thank abi for entertaining all my paranoia
for being that great buddy and trying to crack me up
i really love abi
cos she tries to be there for me whenever she can
i know i can count on her to be there when im bawling my lungs out late into de night and even when she is tired
i know i can count on her to be there for me to rant nonstop even when i just keep repeating myself
i know i can count on her to comfort me
to stop all that tears from flowing just by listening to me or iving me ernest advice on wad to do
ps. im sorry love im trying to be de one for you but im strugling
dont give up on me cos i'll be de one you want one day
just give me some time
i believe we'll overcome it all
i dont wanna be de epitome of your life
i just wanna share your life
i just wanna be a part of it
i dont need you to place me in de limelight
i just wanna continue de journey with you
can i ?