one shot at a time
Cameras are simple tools designed to capture images.
Images that tell us more about ourselves than we realize.
They remind us of the long journey we’ve taken.
The loved ones who traveled alongside of us.
Those we lost along the way.
And those waiting for us on the road ahead.
-desperate housewives
ngsihui
twenty.one
first.july.nineteen.eighty.eight
sacps.sacss.tpjc arts.nus fass
sacsjab.tpjcseasports.tennis.nusnetball.blanise
loves swim.tennis.tan.wakeboard.cycle.run.kayak.
camwhore.doodle.sleep.teevee.eat.gym.blog.talk.
lounge.chill out.shop.read.cook.travel.photography
sihuing@hotmail.com
Sihui Ng
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post-its
Tuesday, November 22, 2005 @ 7:22:00 PM
since de hols started..its been time with =)..sj stuffs and com training..holidays..com is coming..its like inching its way nearer and nearer to us..but i just feel they are not up to standards..not good enough..not trying to put them down i just feel that..all de trainings dun seem to be benefitting them..its de same ol' standards like yesterday..de same ol' mistakes..its not adsvancing..its not progressing..its just a vicious cycle and it keeps going back to square one.. ex-seniors HELP!!! got de ex seniors back..not appreciated..all they received was bad attitude..disrespect..egoistic comments..all cos of trivial stuffs that can easily be handled..i guess wad is needed is a talk..to wake them up from dreamland..to give them that urgently neede wake up call..to burst their ego..to show them they are not as wonderful as they perceive themselves to be and snap out of that world of self denial they are living in..i will and shall do just dat..before they experience that 'pride comes before a fall' lesson..perhaps wad abi says is true..not care about them..let them experience wad it is like to fall..wad is it like to be defeated..perhaps perhaps perhaps..where is dat one for all all for one spirit..i dun see de' profide for de faith..pro-utilitate hominum for de service of mankind' nothing if dat sort..perhaps times have really changed..they are no longer like de cadets we were..i dun know..all i know is seniors pls behave like seniors and juniors pls act like juniors FULLSTOP..gonna start looking for a job soon..gotta really start looking for one to supplement my next years spendings..and not waste this whole hols..to you-if you think i m nothing den fine..i believe in karma..trust me you will get your just deserts for treating us de way you did..all dose deceptions and lies..all de facade you put on to show us..its de ultimate betrayal..you were de cause why i m de way i m now..its easy to blame someone..but you were one motivating factor dat made me wad i m..made me loathe something as much as i do now..you can pretend to be wad you are now and continue wad you are doing now..i dun care..i was foolish..i used physical pain to numb de emotional trauma..it scarred me both physically and emotionally..dose scars dat tell a tale..dose dat never fail to remind me i was hurt..de physical scars have faded..all nothing but light scars..and once de scars heal..it hides away de pain once deep within..it heals and de pain is forgotten until de scars remind me about it..de emotional scars will never fade..they will live within me and be a constant reminder to me..no more tears..no more hurt..dose scars dat you once brought to me..dose dat i thought could fade along with time..de tears..dose sleepless nites..dis was just foolish and one sided opinion..now i just realised..nothing can ever remove those scars..they are permanent..they are lasting..they never fail to remind me of de pain..de hurt..de betrayal..never..you caused dose scars..you can never remove them..no matter wad you do now..and i believe you dun care..at least its wad it seems to me now..de neglect..de lack of attention..de lack of provision for my emotional side..you betrayed my trust and you can never earn it back now..i dun wanna seethe with hatred and anger..my flaming desire for revenge has been doused..its not wad i want now..i m gonna cry no more..i m gonna hurt no more..i m not gonna wallow in self depression and self pity..i m not gonna shed another tear..i m not gonna seek anymore attention..i cant get it from you i get it from someone who is willing to shower me with dat attention..i m not gonna believe you anymore..i m not gonna let dose scars affect me..i m not gonna dwell upon it anymore..i will live life de way like its heaven on earth..i m undergoing a paradigm shift dat tells me snap out of it..and i will stand strong..i will not relent..i m gonna not let anything get me down..i m not gonna think about all dat has happened..i m putting it aside..i m gonna be myself..i m gonna be de one you never expected me to be..i m gonna prove you wrong..i m gonna show you wad i m worth..no more despising me..i wont let you get medown again..it took so much for me to get up on my feet..no one and nothing can get me down..i have all it takes for me to be happy..and so i m not gonna be depressed cos of all da you did..i m gonna focus on wad makes me happy..wad you did is not my concern..i will not forgive you..dats my stand..i will stand fast and firm to it..i will not sway..and nothing can dissuade me..yyou can say i m heartless you can say i m callous..but you know wad..nothing you say is gonna pull me down again..no more of living in agony and anguish..de old sihui is dead and de new sihui is born..i believe in karma..wad goes around will come around..you will get your well-deserved punishment.. dats wad i believe in and dats wad keeps me going...Thankew =) for standing by me..really..you are de one dat keeps me going..you are de one dat gives me strength..you are de one i live for..you are de one encouraging me..you are why i m strong..you are de one i need..you are de one reason why i m reborn..you are de one i love.. now kn0ow why i m strong ? trust me we will walk thru all together..never alone..remember when de going gets strong de strong gets going..stick with this belief..we can make it together..